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18 April 2011 / April

Pro tips for being intelligent in the modern age

Let’s say, purely hypothetically, you’re a student at Williams College.  And your ID card stops working.  So you bring it to security (hopefully during one of the approximately three hours during the week when the only person on campus who knows how to do this stuff is not on lunch break) and get it replaced.

Now, if you’re on a meal plan, you go to dining services (actually you don’t have to physically go there anymore, but whatever) and get your meal plan reactivated on your new card.  And, magically, they KNOW how many meals you have left for the week.

HOWEVER, if you have laundry money on your card – let’s say $10 or $20 of laundry money (again, purely hypothetically) – they DON’T KNOW how much money you have left.

This is inane.  Because I lied a minute ago there.  It’s NOT magical that they know how many meals you have left, it’s because they have a record INDEPENDENT OF THE CARD ITSELF that keeps track of how many meals you have left.  Of course they do!

Yet somehow, they lack this record for keeping track of how much money you have left.  Somehow they can tell you, “Sorry, the amount can’t be read off the card,” and you’re thinking, “Well OF COURSE you can’t read the card, the card is fucking BROKEN.”  They need some rudimentary system, like I don’t know on a COMPUTER or something, that STILL KNOWS HOW MUCH MONEY YOU HAVE LEFT even if THE CARD ITSELF IS BROKEN.

Like imagine if your debit card got worn out and your bank told you, “Sorry, we can’t figure out how much money is on your card.”  And you lost all your money.

Maybe somebody’s thinking, “April, laundry money is not the same as a bank account, and anyway why did you put so much laundry money on your card in the first place?”  First of all, didn’t I say this was purely hypothetical, who said I was talking about myself?

Secondly, are you serious?  THEY’RE STEALING YOUR LAUNDRY MONEY, THE BASTARDS!

Finally, the convenience of NOT having to scrounge for quarters for laundry every couple weeks is NEGATED if you instead have to go to Paresky to put money on your card for laundry every couple weeks.  Technology is supposed to make our lives EASIER, but it only does that if we use it SMARTLY.

Fuck I hate laundry day.

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