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12 August 2010 / April

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Attending Williams trains you in the art of crossing Route 2 – yet another of the useful life skills that Williams graduates employ time and time again in the wider world. Part of that art involves, yes, stopping, looking, and waving to drivers who yield to your pedestrian majesty. It’s just the nice thing to do.

But somehow, now that the crosswalks are ordering me to do the nice thing, I feel inexplicably compelled to rebel.  Excuse me, judgmental red letters!  I will “stop look [and] wave” only if I want to, thank you very much!

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The Massachusetts Teachers Association is on campus getting shwasted.  I mean, attending some conference thing.   Anyway, apparently teachers in Massachusetts have trouble reading font sizes under 200 pt., so the science buildings’ PERFECTLY GOOD signs need some big brawny reinforcements.

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The writing on this sign at the garden is a little small, so here ’tis:

Dear members of the Williams community and friends –
the fence is here to keep out deer but not you! please feel free to explore the garden!

Why, don’t mind if I do.  (Also, what if deer can read?  You just caused severe confusion in literate deer all over Williamstown.  Good work, gardeners.)

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My iPhone’s spelling correction is generally very impressive and has saved me from many an embarrassing late-night text.  But it seems to have learned some odd words, which I maintain I had nothing to do with.

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So this is really old (not to mention, like the previous picture, technically not a photograph), but I was browsing my folder of screenshots and it’s just as funny to me as the day I first saw it. It’s from WSO, the entertainment value of which is maximized if you’re a Williams student…

But anyway, this Lost & Found post is just so brief and concise, yet full of potential stories.  First, and most obviously, imagine the backstory.  Is this some sort of modern day R-rated Cinderella tale?  Second, imagine the literary genius capable of generating such a terse yet somehow adequate description, particularly that last phrase – “kind of skanky.”   It just fills me with hope for the Twitter/Facebook/SMS generation’s ability to get the damn point across.

Finally, further imagine being the girl (or guy, you know, whatever) who gets in touch with the author being like, “Yeah, that’s my skanky shoe.  I’d like it back please.”  Imagine wearing those shoes to another party.  “Hey, cute shoes!”  “Thanks.  1/1 reviewers agree, they’re ‘kind of skanky.'”  “…”

I mean, that’s how I’d do it.

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One Comment

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  1. Kati / Aug 26 2010 5:58 pm

    “R-rated Cinderella Story”…I bet that’s actually been done. Several times.

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