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14 April 2009 / April

Evidently, “modern” = brevity + profanity

I just finished reading Vergil’s Aeneid in English.  This sounds like an ambitious sort of undertaking for a vacation, but dude, finals are next week and APs are in a few.  This is not a vacation.

Also, the Aeneid is a surprisingly quick read when you’ve already translated a couple thousand lines of it from Latin.  Plus it helps being able to condense each of the 12 very verbose books into a framework of its crucial points.  For instance, here’s my modern interpretation of Book VII.

Aeneas: “Hey Latinus, mind if we stay?  We won’t cause trouble.”
Latinus: “OMG marry my daughter!”
Aeneas: “Um—“
Amata: “Hell no!”
Turnus: “Hell no!”
Tyrrhus: “Hell no!”
Latinus: “… I’m gonna have to sit this one out.”
Amata, Turnus, Tyrrhus: “WAR!!!!”
Juno: “I can work with that.”
Aeneas: “What. The. Fuck.”

An important conclusion arising from this is that King Latinus really pisses me off.

I may end up doing this for the entirety of the Aeneid, for my own amusement and to kind of help me study for the AP.  Although sadly, the AP assumes somewhat more thorough knowledge of the poem than what is presented above.


One Comment

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  1. Sarah / Apr 16 2009 12:23 pm

    LOL. I’ve never read Aeneid, but I can appreciate your interpretation nonetheless.

    And yeah, I’m compelled to agree with your definition of modern.

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