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12 April 2009 / April

It’s kind of like an outhouse

Except it’s actually our car.

And it’s where I go to get online, because my neighbor’s wireless doesn’t quite reach our house but it does reach our car.  It’s less unpleasant than you might imagine.

Photo 130

Today is Sunday.  Which means it’s STUPID BIRD DAY!

This week’s featured Stupid Bird is the insane robin who keeps flying into our windows.  Since I got up this morning, I have been serenaded by the irregular thunk of a little feathery body colliding with glass as it repeatedly hurls itself at the windows of our house, pausing only to catch its breath before returning whole-heartedly to its futile endeavor.

Every once in a while, I think it has stopped at last.  But it hasn’t.  It doesn’t.  I’m pretty sure it must be in love.  Only love or a RIDICULOUSLY PUNY BRAIN could inspire such pointless stupidity.

Its persistence in spite of pain makes it seem like a caged bird trying to escape imprisonment, except it doesn’t seem to realize that it’s trying to get into the cage, it has already escaped, it’s already free.  I guess you’re only as free as you think you are.

Today is not just any Sunday, however.  Today is Easter Sunday.  Which means candy!


I don’t actually know what this is.  It’s apparently hollow and milk flavored.  But is it chocolate?  Plastic?  Rabbit flesh?  Who knows?

Anyway, aside from the proliferation of flowers and small adorable children within the sanctuary, church was a fairly typical affair today.  But in her sermon, Jacquie told us about one of her friends who used to call her every Easter and utter a single line before hanging up: “Jesus is on the loose again!”

My internet outhouse is somewhat less warm than it was a few hours ago.


Leave a Comment
  1. Clark Bunch / Apr 12 2009 5:55 pm

    Kinda’ like an outhouse?!? Do you have any idea what goes on inside an outhouse? Your car may not be as much like that as you think. Maybe your office is in a portable building…

    I also wonder if your nieghbor has any idea what you’re doing in the car (i.e. hacking their wireless signal) and what will happen if/when they read your blog.

    p.s. The bunny is obviously flavored like “hallow milk,” it says so right on the box.

    • April / Apr 12 2009 7:08 pm

      I do actually know what goes on inside outhouses. And my neighbor does actually know I’m hacking his wireless. In fact he’s currently trying to strengthen his signal so I can use it from my house… Yeah, my Internet situation is messed up.

  2. Amy / Apr 12 2009 7:11 pm

    Who cares what the bunny is made of? It is clearly labeled as “Yummy,” thus you should eat it. (Personally, though, I think the label should read “Really Creepy Looking.”)

  3. Rafael Lizarralde / Apr 13 2009 7:47 am

    In defense of robin brains, it is my understanding that windows are particularly UV-reflective, and birds pay the most attention to UV (it gives them really intense contrast sensitivity). In addition to that, its body is totally flooded in spring hormones, making its behavior a bit outside of what we could understand from our reasonably less hormone-induced stupor.

    As for the bunny, I happen to agree with Amy. It also says “Totally delicious!”, as if the “Yummy” weren’t clear enough. (and @Clark: it says “Hollow Milk Flavored”—by context sensitivity that can be dissected to mean “Hollow, and Milk-Flavored”)

    • April / Apr 13 2009 12:33 pm

      I guess I can understand that (about the birds)… But then why the sudden onslaught?

      • Rafael Lizarralde / Apr 13 2009 2:13 pm

        Hormone time!

      • Rafael Lizarralde / Apr 13 2009 2:14 pm

        I think that if you put something up that’ll disrupt the clarity of the window enough to distract it from the reflection (like bubble wrap) on the inside, it should stop hurling itself at such futility.

        • April / Apr 13 2009 2:58 pm

          We have translucent plastic sheets on some windows (to prevent heat loss) and paper snowflakes on others (for no reason). Hormones are pretty powerful I guess.


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