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15 March 2009 / April

Turkeys vs. God

My neighbors own some turkeys, and besides being fat, ugly, and loud, they’re also really incredibly stupid.

We were driving to church this morning and a bunch of them were milling about on the road.  Expecting them to flee in terror from our rumbling hunk of machinery, we inched closer– until we had to stop.

They continued milling about on the road.  Some of them waddled from the road onto the shoulder.  Some of them waddled from the shoulder onto the road.  Some of them stopped and stared quizzically at us.  All of them were stupid.  If we were driving a fox instead of a car, they would’ve long since become Sunday brunch.

But we didn’t want to murder our neighbors’ turkeys in cold blood.  What this meant was that a bunch of stupid turkeys nearly prevented us from going to church.  Not the deathly illness I (thankfully!) am recovering from, or the trio rehearsal earlier in the morning, or attempts to solve the economic crisis.  A bunch of stupid turkeys.

Come on, omnipotent God.  Really.

Thanks to some avian equivalent of Brownian motion, they eventually moved enough to one side of the road that we were able to maneuver around them.  So I guess God won in the end.  Yet the turkeys live on, stupid as ever.

(PS. I don’t think they’re actually turkeys.  But we always call them turkeys.)

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9 Comments

Leave a Comment
  1. Rafael Lizarralde / Mar 15 2009 7:00 pm

    Hahahahahaha

    … but how could you mistake something else for a turkey? They look pretty unusual…

    • April / Mar 15 2009 8:37 pm

      I never said we mistake them for turkeys. I only said we call them turkeys.

  2. Rafael Lizarralde / Mar 15 2009 9:26 pm

    So what are they??

    • April / Mar 15 2009 10:05 pm

      They are somewhat akin to turkeys.

  3. Rafael Lizarralde / Mar 15 2009 10:24 pm

    … Pheasants?
    Gineafowl?
    Vultures?
    Eagles?
    Ostriches?
    Orphans?

    • April / Mar 15 2009 11:12 pm

      Yes.

      • Rafael Lizarralde / Mar 15 2009 11:23 pm

        You’re making me evil >_<

        • April / Mar 15 2009 11:32 pm

          Okay okay don’t kill me! I think they’re guineafowl?

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