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28 January 2009 / April

April is a month

I pretty much never participate in memes, but this one courtesy of Kendra– Googling your name plus the given phrase and choosing the first result that makes sense– entertained me greatly.  I had to dig deep for some of the results, since there are always sentences like, “World will end in April, says superstitious idiot.”  Or whatever.

April needs to learn how to dress properly… drunk or not!  (Probably true.)
April looks like Christina Aguilera, pushed over and trampled on by fans.  (Definitely not true.)
April says goodbye… to herself.  (Um.)
April wants more wine.  (Who wouldn’t?)
April does karaoke from hell.  (Fuck yeah I do!)
april hates u, makes lilacs, u no can has. (Literary props to you if you understand this; if you don’t, click here.)
April asks Frank out.  (And is roundly rejected, I’m sure.)
April likes to make a crazy laugh.  (HAHAHAhahaha…)
April eats Jabba the Hut.  (Actually the second result that makes sense, but too good to pass up.)
April was arrested for ‘swearing’ when she abused police officers.  (Not swearing, mind, just “swearing.”)
April loves Aperture.  (If I had it, I probably would.)
April was killed by a flesh-eating bacterium.  (Actually the month, but again, too good to pass up.  Also a bit disturbing.)

Anyway, so apparently today was a snow day, which affected me not at all since it’s exams week and I didn’t have any exams today.  A lot of people were upset, mostly juniors who now have to retake both days of the English Regents.  My condolences.

But seriously, you know that if it were a regular school day and school hadn’t been canceled, everyone would be bitching about how the superintendent is endangering our lives by making us travel in a snowstorm.

Also.  I didn’t go to math class.  I’m not going to math class anymore.  I’m writing a blog post explaining why, but it’s painfully difficult.



Leave a Comment
  1. Rafael Lizarralde / Jan 28 2009 7:21 pm

    Wow, yours were amazing… I looked up IM IN UR WASTELAND BURYING UR DEAD and upon the line “can has potato. PO-TA-TO.” began laughing so hard that I was worried I was going to asphyxiate… x_x

  2. April / Jan 28 2009 7:45 pm

    I actually can’t read the entire thing without dying of hilarity first…

  3. Rachel / Jan 28 2009 7:59 pm

    Oh dear God… “Rachel needs help when she enters Manhattan’s meat-packing district to help three transvestite hookers find out who murdered their friends.”

  4. Rafael Lizarralde / Jan 28 2009 8:25 pm

    Haha, awesome…

  5. April / Jan 28 2009 8:30 pm

    Wow. That’s very… exciting.

  6. Amy / Jan 29 2009 6:22 pm

    Amy is a given name, a variant of “Aimee”, which means beloved in French, from Old French amede, from Latin amāta, feminine singular past participle of amāre “to love”. (thank you, Wikipedia)

    Amy looks like she’s about two rhinestones away from a wardrobe malfunction.

    Amy Says Goodbye.

    Amy wants an alcohol-free wedding! (sorry, April! No wine for you!)

    amy does design. (at

    Amy hates Elise. (whoever she is)

    Amy Asks a Question…: Grandma – What’s a Lesbian? (

    Amy likes mountains. (“‘Cause they rock!”)

    Amy eats cupcakes.
    Second result: Amy eats a cat treat.

    Amy was arrested for Transporting an Illegal Alien in a Hidden Compartment.

    Amy loves Mark. (Incidentally, Mark’s last name is Stubblefield. I wonder what kind of facial hair he has.)

    Amy was killed by a blow to the head after being run over by a vehicle. (from a pdf entitled “Texas Women Killed by Their Intimate Partner in 2002)

  7. April / Jan 29 2009 7:10 pm

    Nooo I need my wine!

    I am also greatly amused by “Amy eats a cat treat.”

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