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6 June 2008 / April

You wish you were cool enough for math seminar

Seminar is not yet over. To be precise, we have at least one and possibly two meetings left. But could I wait any longer to post this list? Of course not.

So without further ado, here is an unorganized list of unexplained things that were uttered in H202, between 12:17 and 1:02 roughly every other school day (plus Mondays). You will, of course, note that they are all very intelligent and very related to math. Because that’s how we roll.

April: “I had a dream that we were in math seminar and Rachel was there. That’s how I knew it was a dream.”

Rachel: “… Hey!”

Antal: “Did you hear that ex and ln(x) are going out?!”

Silviana: “… There’s something incestuous about that.”

Silviana: “Which side of your body is your appendix on?”

Mr. D: “The right side.”

April: “Of course. Why would it be on the wrong side?”

Silviana: “Rachel! You forgot your own corollary!”

Andrea: “Polar bears!”

Antal: “Polar bear-tuples!”

Rachel: “Hey, I only have a percent error of… well, infinity.”

April: “I’m going to open an ice cream shop and all the flavors will be labeled things like n, n+1…”

Antal: “You have four heads!”

April: “My mental n-boards have lots of star stickers on them!”

Andrea: “I hate raisins. It’s like eating old people.”

Antal: “When a mommy coefficient and a daddy coefficient love each other very much…”

April: “I think the problem isn’t not having enough space, but having too many people.”

Rachel: “Just kill them.”

Antal: “Does Rachel have mortal enemies?”

April: “She will soon if we don’t stop interrupting her.”

April: “I can speak Hungarian. ‘Antal!'”

Mr. D: “I made a contribution to ACS today!”

Victor: “Knots first, robbing banks second.”

Rachel: “I’m moving in the blue direction.”

April: “You know, the reason we got so off topic is because Antal got into Williams.” (It’s true!)

Antal: “Damn color-changing dilating flies!”

April: “Only a mathematician would dare to do something like that.”

Antal: “I could live in a hypercube!”

Mr. D: “You could live on one wall of a hypercube.”

April: “It’s okay. You caught the chalk.”

Rachel: “Look what you’ve done, you’ve killed Antal.”

Rachel: “Mathematicians are always hungry. They’re like street musicians.”

April: “Yay, arithmetic to the rescue!”

Victor: “It’s destructive criticism.”

April: “Antal! Become transparent!”

Gwyn: “Didn’t you see all the ‘No Parking’ signs?”

Victor: “There was an implied ‘unless you really have to.'”

Silviana: “I’d rather talk about Rachel killing people, actually.”

Rachel: “That’s cheating.”

April: “I want to write a book in braids.”

April: “So… the square root of infinity is zero?”

Antal: “I love this number system.”

Rachel: “I didn’t say it was isomorphic to a turtle!”

Antal: “How is that a 2-holed torus?!”

April: “Because it’s a g-holed torus and g = 2.”

Victor: “What’s your favorite lattice?”

Antal: “Lambda!”

Victor: “??? I said what’s your favorite lattice.”

Antal: “Oh, lettuce. Uhh…”

April: “Iceberg?”

Rachel: “Romaine!”

Victor: “No, LATTICE.”

Everyone: “Ohhh…”

April: “Witness the profundity!”

April: “Let’s try to stay focused for exactly pi minutes.” (We didn’t.)

April: “Everything looks like a turtle.”

Victor: “If you look hard enough.”

Rachel: “Tracing the path of a knot is the opposite of life. You choose where to start but you have no free will afterwards.”

Silviana: “I’m sorry, I’m not wearing my Pillsbury Doughboy boxers today.”

Mr. D: “Rachel is the Waldo of IHS.”

April: “My name is really short compared to all of yours.”

Victor: “You should’ve been born in November.”

Mr. D: “Oh, I see! It’s like the 12 days of Christmas!”

Rachel: “Hippopotamus / Anti-hippopotamus / Annihilation.”

April: “We will revolutionize the sudoku industry!”

Rachel: “[The Hasidim] might dress like the Amish, but they’re not actually like them, except on Saturdays.”

Silviana: “Didn’t we prove that pi equals three?”

April: “I’m sure we have.”

Antal, Rachel, April: “Silviana, will you marry us?”

Antal: “It was awesome because it was associative and you could fold it.”

Silviana: “And then I was like, ‘She could cut his hamstrings!'”

April: “Rachel, you can’t go to Harvard if you write your infinity signs like that!

Silviana: “Rachel is the white Jewish version of April.”

April: “Rachel’s [integral signs] are too short and stunted. Kind of like Rachel.”

Rachel: “And they’d walk around taking off their shirts…”

Silviana: “Oh, all guys do that.”

Rachel: “They weren’t guys.”

Silviana: “…… Oh.”

April: “Look at my pants!

Silviana: “My friend was fake dating this girl, and then they fake broke up and now he’s in fake rebound.”

Jonathan: “… I’ve never heard of fake dating.”

Antal: “Me neither.”

Rachel: “Antal, have you heard of real dating?”

April: “My head does not act like a cymbal! How many times do I have to tell you this?”

Antal: “You can recognize us by our feet?

April: “Can we animate our cake?”

Antal: “Let’s see if she bleeds!”

Mr. D: “So I went to the main office to see if they had a knife…” (Wow. This juxtaposition was totally unintentional, believe it or not.)

April: “Everything originates from Wikipedia.”

Everyone at one point or another: “That’s so Cartesian!”

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8 Comments

Leave a Comment
  1. April / Jun 6 2008 9:58 pm

    My memory is not infallible. Comment if I’ve left anything out.

  2. Antal / Jun 7 2008 12:43 am

    April, I love you! I laughed so hard I cried and choked.

    I don’t remember all of these, though. We must discuss when they happened in Seminar next.

    I felt like I had something constructive to say, but the hilarity has driven it out of my brain

  3. April / Jun 7 2008 1:46 pm

    Hilarity tends to do that, I’ve learned.

  4. Rachel / Jun 8 2008 6:21 am

    I just read these all and am hoping no one else is awake, because cracking up at 6 a.m. is a little unusual.

    I never heard about being the Waldo of IHS… when did that happen??

    By the way, I totally forgot that this is actually my favorite memory of IHS. I had put 9th grade Combined on my senior supplement. No way it beats this.

  5. April / Jun 8 2008 10:33 am

    >I never heard about being the Waldo of IHS… when did that happen??

    Probably when you weren’t around, because we were asking “Where’s Rachel?” and I don’t think we’d ask that if you were sitting right there.

    Also, don’t people usually take Combined in 10th grade? Or were you just being Rachel and skipping ahead?

  6. Rachel / Jun 8 2008 1:38 pm

    I meant Humanities. Hard to keep them straight after all these years.

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