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16 July 2007 / April


-I really dislike how Facebook tells me “You have 1 gift to give.”

Think about it. Say I give that gift. Suddenly I have nothing of any value to bestow unto the world anymore. Oh god, how I dread the day when I give the gift and must endure it telling me imperiously, “You have no gifts to give. Go wallow in a puddle of despair and self-pity, you useless jerk.”

And that is why, my dear Facebook friends, you will never receive a gift from me.

-Oblivescence (n.): the process of forgetting

-Last night there was a firefly in my room. It was green, bright, and did little to help me fall asleep.

Imagine one of those lights on your computer or printer or other electronic device– except it moves around, flashes irregularly, and could potentially drop down dead on your face. Wouldn’t that keep you awake too?

Playmobil! Cue nostalgia binge!

Conversations among Playmobil

Kid in the red jacket: “Dude. You have a freakin’ woodchuck on your shirt. You’re such a dork.”
Kid in woodchuck shirt: “Hi! I like your hat! Will you be my friend!?”

Sorry, that was mean, but it was what popped into my head when I saw the kid in the woodchuck shirt.

The only thing that could be worse is if they were really woodchuck overalls. The pants are the same color as the woodchuck, after all. It is possible. Horrifyingly so.

-When the weather’s hot, our dog prefers lying sprawled out in the middle of hallways to neatly curling up in corners (or on sofas). This puts her in imminent danger of being stepped on and/or tripped over by the klutzes of the household.

-Why does everything take longer during the summer? I feel like I’m actually busier during summer vacation than during the school year because once I have summer on the brain, efficiency goes down the toilet.

Case in point: I was writing up directions for my mom so she can pay bills, use the cell phone, etc. while I’m at camp. (Yeah, I know, teenagers don’t typically pay the bills. Get over it.) I expected it to take like half an hour, tops.

Bzzt, wrong. It took me a couple hours and I’m still not done. I guess the main problem is that I keep getting distracted by the internet I have to write out every little step because my mom is, to put it mildly, technologically challenged.

And I still have to practice piano and box up all my school stuff and label all my clothes and write an essay and eat lunch, I mean, dinner!

… I really need to start getting up before noon.


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