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29 May 2006 / April

Schooless Monday

I hate it when I feel like doing something, but then I try to do it and I think, naw, don’t feel like doing that, but I still want to do something that isn’t just normal, but I don’t know what that something is, and it’s driving me out of my mind in a horse drawn carriage.

I also hate having so many tests to study for. I don’t like studying. It’s like, if I study, I have to do well because, y’know, I studied, right? And the point of studying is that it makes you do well on tests. But then, if you don’t study, you may do well anyways just due to the nature of the material and you can feel special. Or you may not do well, in which case you can just think, well, after all, I didn’t study.

The word “well” appeared way too many times in that paragraph.

But these tests are important (Bio SAT, five freakin’ finals! five!!!), so I really should study. But studying for the SATs has become so annoying, because no matter how much I do it, I get the same scores on the practice tests. Or lower ones. And it’s frustrating.

Then there’s this “Song of Myself” assignment for English, based on the poem by Walt Whitman. First of all, I don’t like the thought of writing a poem that’s basically copying the genius ideas of another poet. It really bothers me.

Plus, I don’t really know what I personally am getting at with my Song. Not what Whitman was getting at, that’s for sure. I’ve been churning out random lines about prisms and windows and paper plates but what is it really saying? I have no clue. And if I don’t know, Creagan certainly won’t.

It wouldn’t even matter, if only the writing was, in some unique or surprising way, good.

Our house is perfectly cool (“temperaturally,” as Karin would say), but outside it is hot, and sunny, and muggy, and humid, in a way that makes my nose run and my piano keys stick and my locker at school jam up, though I’m not sure since I’m not at school now. If it weren’t for the humidity, I wouldn’t even believe it had been raining buckets this morning.

Temperaturally reminds me of yesterday, which was fun. Figuring out digital camcorders, wearing loose silk blouses, being attacked by caterpillars, defacing federal property (Hello, government officials. You are not reading this), eating muffins, watching The Last Emperor until the old video tape decided to go kablooey all over us. But not before we got to hear the quote of the century: “She is not my wet nurse. She is my butterfly.” Whoa.

Since we didn’t finish watching the movie, I don’t think I’ll even be able to complete the extra credit assignment that went along with it. Oh well. It was entertaining.

My room is very messy. It is so messy, I can try to remember what it is like when it is clean, and fail. Was it ever clean? It hasn’t been so for months, ever since the days of furniture moving and major junk removal. The clothes pile has been maliciously accumulating for weeks, my bag from the Music Trip is still unpacked, books and papers are stacking up everywhere… I will clean this pig sty when summer comes. Promise.

Speaking of summer:

One four-day week. One five-day week. One one-day week.

It can’t come fast enough.

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3 Comments

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  1. JP / May 30 2006 10:02 pm

    i’m such a FREAK, but i want school to be longer so that i would have time to study for the finals… you forgot “Please don’t tell anyone about my mouse.”

    I agree in the frustrating-ness of Bio, no matter what, there’s always stuff i don’t know, that that’s not cool at all since i STUDIED.

  2. JP / May 30 2006 10:04 pm

    PS You can just copy and paste some entries on this for song of myself. like being attacked by caterpillars.

  3. April / May 31 2006 4:20 pm

    Heh. Good idea– maybe caterpillar ambushes are “concrete” enough for Creagan.

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