I’m going home soon.

I don’t know if I can handle it.  Where is my default hangout place at home?  Do the chapel bells play showtunes at home?  Who will bother me about math homework late at night at home?  What could replace Driscoll’s almond butter and delicious salad at home?  Is there constant and reliable wireless internet at home?  Will people hit on me ostentatiously at home?  Is there snack bar at home?  Can I see plays for $3 or less at home?  When I say, “That’s quote board worthy,” will people at home know what I mean? Is there Williams at home?

The truth is, I’m going home, and I’m happy about that.  But after break, I’m coming home too.

HI.  IT’S 4 AM.

I’ve ingested a little too much caffeine today.

Uhhhh today was homecoming.  There was mud.  And alcohol.  And sea turtles.  I mean, what?

But then I got distracted so I’m writing it now instead, and it necessarily will be a very different post than it would’ve been had I gone through with my original plan, because you know, life happens, and by life I mean Wednesday and Thursday and a good bit of Friday too.

So!  First order of business is my health.  I woke up Monday feeling AWESOME BEYOND ALL BELIEF, but in the reality outside my own delusional reality, I didn’t actually feel fully up to par till, um, Thursday-ish.  Ergo, I suspect it was the sunshine and cupcakes and my burning desire to leave my room that truly inspired my AWESOME BEYOND ALL BELIEF feeling Monday morning.

[Fun fact!  The instant I finished typing the word "sunshine," the chapel bells started playing "Here Comes the Sun."]

Turns out I made an excellent call not going to the health center over the weekend, for a number of reasons.  A number of reasons equaling two.  Reason one!  They apparently stopped actually diagnosing people with the swine, and instead have been just deporting everyone who walks in there with a fever and a bad mood.  Not cool, health services people, not cool.

Reason two!  Because of this, the quarantine mansion, AKA Mt. Hope, AKA Mt. DOOM, is full, so people within like driving distance are getting sent home.  Imagine how that return would go: “Hey mom!  Nice to see you for the first time since September!  Now care for me, because I have swine flu!”

[I'm in an all-caps, exclamation point sort of mood.  Could you tell?]

Anyway, this whole hype-enhanced epidemic means that a few of my classes are emptier than usual. This is particularly noticeable in classes like CS, where there are usually only 13 students… four of them girls… three of them absent today… Let’s just say I felt awfully female. At least my prof’s female.

Our CS lab for the last couple weeks before Thanksgiving is funny to me, because it’s basically the infamous GridWorld case study from AP CS, except we’re writing the code and not just understanding it, and– well, there are lots of other technical differences that are unimportant because hey, it’s a bunch of squares and little creatures moving through them and we get to make them battle and that’s FUN.

Speaking of battling, video games have been introduced to the Pratt 3 common room.  Sleeping and study habits have declined proportionally.  Swearing and machismo have increased proportionally.

Also!  Ben apparently has the magic touch with regards to my computer, because he broke it (i.e. incurred the spontaneous apparition of a black box at various places, plus other bizarre bugs) and fixed it– all just by hitting random keys.  And it FREAKS ME OUT.

By the way, this is in fact related to the previous discussion of video games, but unfortunately for you who were not involved in last night and its fairly ridiculous discussions, the relation is not topical but temporal.

Also!  Alex and Ben have a way of shouting my name that prevents me from distinguishing the two of them at all, which kind of messes with my mind.  They also have a knack for bothering me about math homework, although their ways of doing so are more distinguishable.  Last night I had the realization of epiphanic proportions that I’m going to be in linguistics class with both of them next semester.  It will be interesting.

I am not proceeding through my week in an at all efficient (let alone chronological) manner.

Because I should really be wrapping up, but there’s so much stuff I’ve missed.  Like my CS prof’s [AGE REDACTED] birthday party!  And the utter failure of Pratt 3 to produce a birthday party for our man Ian!  And the amazingly hilarious debate between Adams and Garrity about whether the derivative or the integral is superior (somehow mimes and cavemen were involved)!  And how Adams still calls me Emily but at least has apologized, and how I literally ran into Burger after the debate (sorry), and other things relating to this day!  And CHEESE!  And LLAMAS!  And BULLDOZERS!

See, this is why I need to blog more frequently.  You need to remind me to blog more frequently.  Yes, YOU do.

is that I don’t have swine flu, or “the swine” as we affectionately call it.  The only reason this is a general consensus and not a medical diagnosis is because the health center is so fucking far and I’d rather suffer here in my room than make the trek across campus.  Seriously, whose idea was it to put the health center all the way over there?

My wise JA told me that if I had swine flu (like apparently a lot of people here at Williams do), I would know it because I would feel like dying.  I don’t feel like dying.  I just also don’t feel like going to Greylock for Kids’ Night.  But I also really really want Kids’ Night food.  I also have a really really awesome and loving entry who is willing to bring back Kids’ Night food for me.  Yay!  Entry love!

And I don’t feel like staring at computer screens, which is why this is not going to be lengthy.  It’s also why I’m not finishing my CS program right now, which sucks because for once I actually have a lot of work to do on it.  But I do have grace days, so I can turn it in late.  Oh, and I guess they’re not called grace days here.  How I miss AP CS.

From what I’ve heard about the swine flu quarantine house, it’s a pretty fun place with all play, no work, and lots of food– and a small part of me wants to go there to check it out.  But that would involve either me actually going to the health center and getting diagnosed as having swine flu, which we’ve already discussed I don’t want to do, or somehow sneaking to the house and subsequently catching swine flu from everyone there.  Which I also don’t want to do, needless to say.

The last time I felt this sick was when I was accepted into Swarthmore.  Although rereading that (barely coherent– honestly, I’m doing much better this time around, wouldn’t you agree?) post, I suppose that was just a really bad cold.  This doesn’t feel like a cold.  If this is the seasonal flu, then it’s the first time I’ve had it in longer than I can remember.  It’s been so long since I’ve had a fever, I don’t have a working thermometer anymore.  Immune system, I’m damn impressed.

(PS. I love how “not swine flu” is a tag that already exists on this blog.)

Dear math homework,

You did not make me happy this week.  There are some weeks when you are easy and make me feel smart, and there are some weeks when you are difficult– but I ponder and persevere and still feel smart.  But this week you are difficult and you don’t make me feel smart in the least.

It’s really a pity, because aside from you, today has been a perfectly splendid sort of day, during which I did not sleep in and almost miss badminton, was let out 35 minutes early from linguistics, and ate a lot of Reese’s candy courtesy of Kylen.  But then there was you.

Allow me to briefly enumerate a few reasons why you are not making me happy.  First of all, your problems are such that small errors are liable to occur but impossible to catch.  Second of all, they don’t resemble the example problems we did in class nearly as much as they should, although admittedly that is not your fault but my professor’s (and the people in my class who asked a million questions) for not quite getting to where we were supposed to be in lecture on Wednesday.

And finally, you are so very unkind to people who forget they’re not supposed to evaluate the fucking impossible integral, but merely set it up.  AARGH.  Do you understand now how you are not making me feel smart?  Or even at all competent?

So I think we need to spend some time apart.  And by that, I mean I think some procrastination is in order.

No love,
April

(Because that’s when I actually wrote this.)

Question: Would my chances at getting into the probably-soon-to-be-overenrolled linguistics class next semester increase or decrease if I friended the professor on Facebook and “like”d all his status updates?  He’s actually an active Facebook member, unlike some other teachers/professors with an online presence, and his updates are actually pretty funny, especially since I’m currently in another class of his and get the jokes about the midterm and such.

As an aside, I am in no way, shape, or form attempting to prevent anyone from taking any linguistics class next semester.

I also met with my advisor this afternoon, where we discussed classes for next semester and other such things.  He also needed to remove the advising hold on my registration so I could pre-register for classes (which I’ve now done, yay!).  Anyway, it was a fun meeting because my advisor’s such a cool guy.  And about ten minutes later I received the following email.

A-
I removed your hold.  Go wild.
-D

Such a great email.  It’s like a haiku: so brief and concise, yet saying so much.

Then I came home and did some things, possibly including checking out professors’ Facebook profiles.  I mean, what?

Oh, the other thrilling thing that happened today was me being an accomplice in Prof. Adams’ nefarious plan to drench the 12 o’clock section’s homework with water.  Mission successful.

(Then other things happened after 4 PM, but anyway.)

I’ve never before been awake during the actual Daylight Savings Time switch.  It’s a lot weirder than just sleeping an extra hour.

I had a sip of coffee around 8 and a good amount of sugar after that, and also it’s an hour earlier than I thought it was ten minutes ago, so I’m not really tired.  Go figure.  So instead you get to hear about today!  Hooray!

Today was Halloween and a Saturday.  These facts taken together meant that I spent the entire afternoon glued to a couch in the common room doing absolutely nothing, and the entire evening going to various events including trick or treating at the president’s house, an a cappella concert, an improv comedy show, and an obscenely crowded dance, all with crazy costumes mixed in.

And I do mean obscenely crowded.  It was literally the event going on tonight, so everyone was there at one point or another, and you ended up accidentally dancing with people who were just trying to pass by and it was ridiculous.  And there was a creepy guy in a black cloak and mask who just walked around silently without dancing.  Creeeepy.

Then I came home and witnessed other people coming home, which was interesting.  A good kind of interesting– for me at least.  I would never be so cruel as to retell here some of the things said or topics discussed.  But will I retell them to their tellers tomorrow morning?  You better believe it.

In other news, people in my entry were vanity searching their names in my blog and it was kinda awkward.  It also makes me self conscious about mentioning names.  Note the meticulous (albeit actually unintentional) lack of them in the current post.  By the way, hi entry!

Somewhat ironically, we underwent some serious technical problems in CS today.  At least more serious than the ones we typically undergo, which involve Jeannie’s computer being unhappy and everyone complaining about the wireless network.  (Purple Air, why do you hate my iPhone?)

Today’s problems involved the projector, which refused to project anything but a blue screen of death.  We looked through the menus and were particularly attracted to one option that depicted a smiling face gazing serenely at a screen.  But alas, it did no good.

See, being in CS classes does NOT imply technical know-how.  The only thing that implies technical know-how is being on the staff in OIT, whom we called for assistance.  Fortunately, with their help everything was running smoothly within 20 minutes, so Jeannie could show us photos of cacti and kings of England as was her plan.

After that was calculus, where our professor is diligently training us to become gamblers.

English, however, would have to be my favorite class of the day.  Because we listened to rap and watched music videos and got to hear our very academic and soft-spoken professor say “shit” (“Yes, I do know that word”).

But moreover, because it took a good portion of the hour to figure out how to operate the projector/screen/computer/magical techiness system in the lecture hall– which admittedly was a little complicated but really shouldn’t have required the full mental capacities of ten college students working on it.

… But okay, mostly because we transitioned from Whitman to Jay-Z in a single hour  I later told Alex about this unusual class and he called me a “closet thug,” which I think is a description that anyone who truly knows me would have to agree with.

In other news, yay it’s the weekend!

This post was made possible by two Milky Way bars and one Snickers.

Conversations can transition from Thomas Hardy to sexual homophones (or homonyms) in record time.

And reason #5483 is that you can ask your professors on dinner dates and it only seems a little bit awkward.

One of the saddest things in the world is an empty pop-tart package after you’ve eaten the pop-tarts.  God I love pop-tarts.

We celebrated Emily’s birthday last night with breakup music (?), cookie cake (2/3 frosting, 1/3 cookie), and strawberry pop-tarts (!), as per the birthday girl’s request.  This is why I’m friends with Emily.  (If Emily is reading: this and many other reasons, far too numerous to encompass in a mere blog post…)

One of the happiest things in the world is the (literally) warm fuzzy feeling of brand new sweatpants, especially on a cold gray day.

I bought my new sweatpants before going to my first class of badminton, which I was a little nervous about because it’s like… my first real PE class here.  I shouldn’t have worried.  Nothing, nothing is worse than high school PE class.

It helps that I have some friends in the class, including yet another blog creeper (hey there), and not all of them are badminton pros, so I needn’t have my meager reserves of self-esteem depleted every Tuesday and Thursday.  Also badminton is fun!  And the rackets don’t all suck ass, and it’s only twice a week, and we’re only doing badminton and not floor hockey or softball or seven units of handball as well.  Did I mention that it’s better than high school PE class?

It’s also laundry day, but I’m feeling lazy, so instead of air-drying and making an ordeal of the project, I’m actually using a dryer.  Sorry environment!  Sorry bank account!

Anyway, in other news, I have math homework that needs doing.