Written on a cell phone

Clearly I planned my time extremely badly today.

Part of it wasn’t quite my fault: we had a sub in US History and I had left all my Physics and German stuff in my locker as per usual (lightens the load and all that), so I had to actually pay attention to the really depressing film on WWII, which was, well, depressing.

Later, after my piano lesson (i.e. right now [when I was writing this]), I found myself again frustratingly lacking in ways to be productive for a whole 45 minutes.  I had no textbooks, no computer, not even a book.  There weren’t even Disney Adventures magazines in the waiting room!  And if I had practiced my concerto one more time, the muscles of my arms would’ve burst into flames and my left pinky would’ve snapped in half.

So yeah, no practicing.  No homework (funny how it all requires a computer these days).  No eating dinner.  No sleeping.  Just a cell phone on which to compose text messages, the soft beeps playing out a little atonal melody as I poke out my thoughts of the moment.

And gradually, I feel my hands begin to cramp.

I wish to god that instead of writing this I’d had the presence of mind to just walk back to Jingpeng’s house, where there are many of the materials necessary for homeworking, plus company (which is useful in its own way).  But now it’s too late.

It’s not even a “guilty pleasure,” sitting here and doing absolutely nothing.  It is sheer torture.  I try to relax and relish the absence of constant activity, but in vain, for any potential inner tranquility I might have enjoyed is destroyed at its inception by the thought of all the things I could be doing NOW but instead will be doing LATER, tonight or tomorrow when I’d much rather be doing something else.

The idea of this is actually painful for me.  Let us think of other, more pleasant things.  Like tomorrow.  Tomorrow after 8 PM.  Ooh, yes, that’s nice.

Addendum: Considering that each text message is a maximum of 450 characters, you can imagine that this took quite a few.

Tags: cell phone, idleness, nothing