It is 1 degree Fahrenheit outside. They say “real feel” is -5 degrees, but I beg to differ. The real feel is actually negative five gazillion degrees. I would have written that in numerals like the other temperatures but I don’t know how many zeros a gazillion has.
Even parts of you not exposed to the air quickly become numb if you stay outside. If you open your mouth too long to breathe, your tongue begins to freeze.
The sunset is vivid with torturously warm colors, and the stars are beautiful, clear and unbelievably bright in the black sky. But your ability to appreciate this decreases dramatically the longer you spend away from heated enclosed spaces. Your mind slows. Your soul shrivels into a tiny wrinkled raisin of its former grapish self. You wonder what abominations you must have done in a previous life to deserve this.
Because it is fucking cold.
But next Tuesday it will be 53 60 degrees.
Tags: brrr, cold, excrutiatingly cold, freezing, frigid
